Host: Welcome to 24/7, a talk show that broadcasts 24/7! We even have our satellite and everything! I work for 24/7 Roadservices Australia, a roadside assistance company, and I will be your host for this evening. Today, I am interviewing Shane, the owner of Jacked Up, a company that collaborates with 24/7 Roadservices Australia to change people’s flat tyres. Shane, welcome to the show.

 

Shane: Thanks for having me. And thanks for the shameless cross-promotion.

 

Host: What’s a flat tyre, Shane?

 

Shane: It’s a pain in the backside, that’s what. When your tyre goes flat, you can’t drive and get stuck in the middle of who-knows-where, which isn’t fun. Deflated tyres make for deflated spirits.

 

Host: Aw, that’s no good. What can the viewers at home do to avoid flat tyres in future?

 

Shane: Other than avoiding bumpy roads, they can switch their front and back tyres regularly and always make sure there’s enough air in their tyres.

 

(The host’s mobile phone goes off suddenly. He answers it mid-interview.)

 

Host: Hi, this is James from 24/7 Roadservices Australia, how can I help? Oh, you have a flat tyre in Revesby? Oh yeah, I know where that is. Do you mind holding for a sec? (The host puts the customer on hold.) Shane, I know we’re doing an interview, but do you mind changing a flat tyre on the corner of Northam Avenue and Mavis Street in Revesby?

 

Shane: Absolutely. Tell the customer I’ll be there in five minutes.

 

(The host takes the customer off hold.)

 

Host: Thank you for holding. The provider will be there in five minutes and we will pay for it since you bought a renewable three-star membership for only $62.10 a year, which includes flat tyre coverage.

 

(Shane leaves and comes back 30 minutes later.)

 

Shane: Sorry about that.

 

Host: That’s okay. So, how long does it take you to change a flat tyre?

 

Shane: Well, I changed that customer’s tyre in 20 minutes, but it usually takes me no more than 30.

 

Host: Man, that’s quick. Hey Shane, what causes a tyre to go flat?

 

Shane: Usually, you drive over a sharp thing, like a nail or whatever. The nail goes through the tyre, penetrates the tube on the inside and all the air comes out. Less usually, your tyre can deflate due to potholes on the road, or cuz you put too much or not enough air in the tyre.

 

Host: All right. Let’s do a bit of roleplay, shall we? I’m a 24/7 customer. I just drove over a nail at 3 am and my rear tyre is flat. What is the first thing I should do?

 

Shane: Turn on your hazard lights.

 

Host: Why would I do that?

 

Shane: So that, when I come to change your tyre, I can see where you are. It’s also a good idea to let other drivers know you’re in trouble.

 

Host: Okay, so I put my hazard lights on to let other people see me. What do I do after that, boss?

 

Shane: Next, you need to pull over to a safe location with a wide shoulder, which isn’t on a hill.

 

Host: Okay, so I pulled over to a safe location. What now?

 

Shane: You put your handbrake on to stop the vehicle from rolling. And then you call 24/7.

 

Host: I like that answer! So, I call 24/7 and they send you out to help me. I then give you a call. “Please help me, Shane! I’ve pulled over to a safe location and I’ve put my handbrake and hazards on! My tyre is useless! What do I do now?!”

 

Shane: Whatever you do, don’t drive your car.

 

Host: “Why not?!”

 

Shane: Cuz if you keep driving it, you’re gonna mess up your wheels and suspension even more and you’ll be up for even more money.

 

Host: “All right, I’m gonna stay put in my car until you show up.” Now, let’s fast-forward to your arrival. I’m in the car, playing chess on my phone.

 

Shane: “Hello there. I’m Shane, the owner of Jacked Up. I’m here to change your tyre. Do you mind getting out of the car? It isn’t safe for you to be in there while I’m changing your tyre.”

 

Host: “Hi Shane. Thank God you’re here! Sure, I’ll get out.” I get out of the car.

 

Shane: Okay, the next thing I would do is get my tools, which would include a wheel brace, wheel wedges, a jack, a piece of two-by-six-inch wood to secure the jack and a flashlight to help me locate your fully inflated and roadworthy spare tyre.

 

Host: Meanwhile, I’m chilling by the side of the road, watching cars pass by as I put my friend in check.

 

Shane: Then, I would place my handy wheel wedges in front of your front tyres to be extra sure that your car won’t roll. After that, I would use the flat end of my wheel brace to take off your balanced wheel’s hubcap. Once the hubcap is off, I’m turning the wheel nuts in your bad wheel counterclockwise to loosen them. It’s better to loosen them now when the car ain’t jacked than to loosen them later when it is, otherwise the car will roll off the jack and you or I could get seriously hurt. I won’t eradicate the wheel nuts; I’ll just give them a quarter to a half of a counter-clockwise tur–

 

(The host’s phone goes off again. It’s another 24/7 call-out. Shane leaves and then comes back again.)

 

Host: Apologies to the viewers for that second interruption. Now, Shane, where were we? Ah, you were about to jack up my car. How do you do that?

 

Shane: First, I would place a non-makeshift jack under your car and alongside your flat tyre. Then, I would place a small woodcut beneath your jack.

 

Host: And why would you do that?

 

Shane: To prevent your jack from settling under your car’s weight and coming off balance.

 

Host: Righto.

 

Shane: The next thing I would do is raise your car till the flat tyre’s about 5-6 inches above the ground.

 

Host: “Hey, Shane, what you’re doing to my car looks interesting. Do you mind if I get under the car to have a closer look?”

 

Shane: I only recommend doing so if you want to get crushed under your car and die.

 

Host: “…I’ll just continue playing chess, then.”

 

Shane: Once the car has been Jacked Up, I’d finish the job of unscrewing the wheel nuts with my hands. Shouldn’t take too long, since I started that job earlier. Then, I’d remove them completely. With the wheel nuts out of the way, I can remove the flat tyre and set it on its side carefully to ensure it doesn’t roll away.

 

Host: And then I would pick up the spare tyre and hand it to you.

 

Shane: Thank you, but I wouldn’t allow that. I don’t want you to get injured on my watch. No, I would pick up the spare. When doing so, I would bend my knees and keep my back straight to avoid injury. Then, I would mount the spare on your lug bolts, gently pushing until the lug bolts show through the rim. Then, I pick up the wheel nuts I removed earlier, put them on the lug bolts and tighten them with my hands by turning them clockwise.

 

Host: So, like with a lot of things, it’s Lefty Loosey and Righty Tighty.

 

Shane: That’s right.

 

Host: And what do you do now?

 

Shane: Now it’s time to lower the vehicle using the jack until the spares are on the ground. Then, I pick up my cross-wrench, since it gives me more torque than a single-handled wrench, and I use it to turn the wheel nuts clockwise with all my might so that they’re as tight as they can be. Then, I push down on the wheel brace and lower the vehicle completely. Once all of the car’s weight is on the spare, I remove the jack slowly. Then, just for good measure, I would tighten all the wheel nuts with my cross-wrench again.

 

Host: “Ah, looks like you’re all done. Good timing, since I just checkmated my opponent.”

 

Shane: Hang on, I’m not done just yet. I have to put the hubcap back on. I’ll put the hubcap on, in the same way, I pulled it off. Then, I’ll put my wheel brace, wheel wedges and jack back in my car and put your punctured tyre in yours. Okay, now we’re done.

 

(The host’s phone goes off for the third time. Shane drives off to another suburb in Sydney to change someone’s flat tyre and then comes back again.)

 

Host: Welcome back, Shane. Okay, so the roleplay’s over, but our viewers still need to know: what do they do once you have changed their tyre?

 

Shane: You need to take your flat to a technician. Remember, unless your spare is identical to the tyre it’s replacing, it’s only going to be a temporary fix. When you’re on your way to the technician, drive carefully. Keep your speed below 80 kilometres per hour, since spares aren’t designed for long distances or high speeds. Otherwise, your spare’s going to fail and you’ll need to call 24/7 again.

 

Host: And what happens when our customer gets to the tyre shop?

 

Shane: At the tyre shop, a professional will figure out if the flat should be replaced or repaired. And then it will be replaced or repaired.

 

Host: Brilliant. Now, what is your answer to a viewer at home who’s thinking, “Changing a tyre doesn’t sound too hard. Why call 24/7 when I could do it all myself?”

 

Shane: Look, I recommend changing your tyre if you know what you’re doing. And, frankly, most people don’t know what they’re doing. Why risk hurting yourself – or even dying – when you can call a trained professional like me who takes your safety very seriously? There’s a reason I get paid to do this and you don’t.

 

Host: Good point, Shane. But now viewers might be wondering why you just spent a lot of time telling them how to change their tyre if you don’t want them to do it themselves.

 

Shane: Because I’m trying to show them how hard it is to do it themselves. The ultimate goal here is to convince the viewers to let 24/7 handle it.

 

Host: So, this whole interview is just an elaborate scheme to generate more business 24/7. That’s good to know. How would you describe your relationship with 24/7?

Shane: You guys treat me well. You give me a lot of jobs, which I’m thankful for. You’re loyal to me so I’m loyal to you.

 

Host: Unfortunately, we are out of time. I’d like to thank Shane for doing three call-outs and an interview for us tonight. And thanks to you, the viewer, for tuning in. Now it’s time to take some calls. The number is 1800 008 616 and the lines are open 24/7!